Yes, even though this sounds outlandish and cruel to you, this is one of the most important lessons to be learned in life. There is a very sound logical reasoning behind this. Human beings as such by living in society have been conditioned to a very wrong belief which is that living selflessly and doing good to others is important even if it means hurting ourselves. Slowly this belief has turned into a tendency to purposely hurt ourselves to show how sacrificing we are which in turn feeds our ego and we go on playing this game in order to gain social recognition because our society for the most part respects and kind of worships people with martyr tendencies. But as far as I have learnt in life you don’t really end up gaining much from a behavior like this except for the so-called respect of the people who in my own personal opinion are not really worthy of even paying attention. Think of this, would you want to get something out of any act which would hurt one or more of your loved ones? Let’s say one of your loved one did something like that, something which brought you benefit but hurt them in the process, would not that be a feeling of guilt on your conscience? Would you want to bear it? In the same way people don’t really want it, although they have but no other option to “respect” the person who has sacrificed for them, which causes the person’s ego to be boosted and they are encouraged to repeat the action sometime again even though it harms them. What I am trying to say is, you can make other people happier if you try and be happy yourself first, be selfish. The definition of selfish here is “Doing everything to make yourself happy as long as you are not causing any discomfort or unhappiness to any living being.” This achieves one very big thing i.e. when you learn being happy, when you focus on your own desires and happiness, you are in turn, allowing others around you to stay relaxed as you are not dependent on their false respect for your happiness. The second thing which is accomplished is when you start being selfish, and start to place importance on your own self, when you begin to believe that YOU are important in your own life, you start having a certain level of self-respect and start radiating a confidence which allows you to be happier in life. Finally when your moods are better than before, when you are peppy and happy most of the time, when you understand that YOU are important, people also begin to understand the same. They start respecting you, you become a living example for them and maybe some of them also become happier simply because when a person around them is happy for no reason, why should they not be. In short what I am trying to tell you here is:
- YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE: Yes, you read that right, most important, more than your lover, parents, family and friends. As long as what you do does not hurt them and makes you happy, you ought to do it.
- UNLESS YOU TAKE UP THE RESPONSIBILTY TO CHANGE YOUR “UNSELFISH” BEHAVIOR, YOU WILL NOT BE HAPPY.