Death was certain, maybe in a few days or in a few months.
The Doctor told me I had skin cancer, fairly advanced and terminal.
I had difficulty walking now. Even picking up a phone and talking to people was getting difficult.
When they broke the news to me, first thing I feared about was my dreams, they were no where near completion. I did not want to die unfulfilled. I wanted to live my dreams and then go, not before that.
And then I thought of you, at first I thought I should tell you how much you mean. But in an instant I decided otherwise, I did not want to hurt you. Telling you this and then going away, I couldn’t be this selfish.
There is a funny thing about dying, it makes you understand what is important, and it doesn’t even take a second. The answers are crystal clear. We spend each day trying to kill time, and when things turn around, time gets on to us, we set ourselves straight.
There is urgency because there is no time left. You don’t care about TV or even about what’s in the news or what’s going on in the college, what you want at that moment is the most important thing in your life. Those are the priorities, get to them. Otherwise you’ll regret wasting your time doing things you did not really need to do. Killing time. You’ll feel like you are dying each moment before death if you don’t do what’s in your heart.
Don’t commit the same mistake I did, listen to your heart while there is still time. They say a dying man does not tell lies, so listen to me. I don’t have much time left, but you do.
Wake up. Find out what’s important to you, get to it. You don’t want to die without listening to your heart, because right now you can ignore it, because it whispers, but when you don’t have time, it begins to scream. It knows that it is either now or never.
Then, you can’t ignore it. I could not move. I just did not have the stamina to walk anymore. They came and put me on a stretcher. I was lying on my bed, I spend most of my days lying on the bed. I know it’s just a matter of few more days, probably a week or two. But in this time I want to touch as many lives as possible. I want to tell them to go after their dreams. I want them to not regret, because this has been my dream. Pushing people over the edge, making them remember the dreams they had as a child.
The nurse comes with the soup bowl in her hands, I am too weak to eat anything else now. I talk to her about her dreams, she tells me this is what she has always wanted to do. She said she wanted to help people so she became a nurse.
I’m glad that people still listen to their hearts. I hope you will too.